Illegimate Children
Happy March! This year is already getting away from me and I have been sticking to my goals like every other year, meaning hardly at all. In fact, I have never fallen more short of my writing goals. My cute little prayer journal only has a handful of entries for 2024. And I haven’t accomplished that much around the house (although my outdoor space is coming right along). Two things I have done: stuck to my Bible reading plan and been available to people I love. Maybe the mound of clean laundry on the guest bed isn’t entirely shameful.
My Bible reading plan1 is the best I’ve ever done. I follow the printed plan but I also listen to it while I read along. I am such an auditory learner that it really helps me focus. Plus, I really like getting both Old and New Testament each day. It is absolutely amazing how often the two readings address similar topics. Yesterday Numbers 5 and Hebrews 12 both spoke to different kinds of bitterness. I feel like I need to follow up and read more about both. But the thing that struck me most yesterday was the part of Hebrews 12 which says if you aren’t disciplined by God you are an illegitimate child.
As parents we can relate. We discipline those we love. It is unloving to be a permissive parent and yet we often witness a parent giving into a child because discipline is not pleasant. Consider though, who is the parent loving when they give in? Clearly, they are not giving in because they love the child. They are putting their own interests first. It’s not worth it. They don’t love the child enough in that moment to follow through on what is right. Have I done this? Of course! We all have. And you don’t have to be a parent to experience this principle.
Our world tells us that loving someone is affirming them, but that is not even close to biblical love. Biblical love is putting someone’s best as your priority. This requires telling them the truth. For a parent it requires setting and enforcing clear boundaries. In fact, affirming someone can be hateful. It conveys that you want to be liked, but it is often contrary to you loving them. Many times a longing for others’ approval is the reality of the person claiming to love. The focus isn’t on sacrificing anything for that other person, it is instead about what they will receive in return. It’s motivated not by what is best for the beloved, but what is in it for them. It’s more self-serving than self-sacrificing.
Hebrews 12 sets the record straight: discipline —a willingness to tell the truth and sacrifice —is baked in to legitimate love.
If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Hebrews 12:8
Digging Deeper:
Who in your life do you love most purely? How do you sacrifice for this person without expectation of something in return? How do you speak truth to this person? Would this person be able to point to faithful wounds you have inflicted? (Proverbs 27:6)
Who in your life has received affirming kisses without a willingness to speak truth? (Proverbs 27:6)
How do you receive the Lord’s discipline?
How does the analysis from Hebrews 12 mesh with the “love is love” mantra?
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