I turned fifty over the weekend, but my new decade is not off to the best start. On Sunday and Monday I read a horrific book1 about an accidental overdose. I bought the book in Florida over Christmas break so I was surprised to learn familiar details of this young man’s story. William also lived on Lookout Mountain, graduated from the same private school my son, Will, graduated from and was a Division 1 athlete in the SEC. He even went to our church.
Then on Monday evening I received a heartbreaking text: my friend, Julie, from college had lost her battle with cancer that morning (she is the pretty blonde in the picture above). I knew she was struggling and I had prayed for her Monday morning, but she had already passed away. I wrote the other day about how there are no good people. I believe that, but Julie was the kind of person people would point to as good. I mean if your average Joe was the standard, then she was good.
Julie lived on my hall freshman year at Stetson, and we joined the same sorority, but Julie was slow to warm. Our junior year we took an overall pretty terrible trip to the Bahamas. There must have been at least ten of us, maybe closer to twenty. Oddly the weather was horrible. Our hotel was not what we expected and we had a bus driver that kept accusing me of being stoned (for the record I have never in my life tried drugs of any kind — a gift from the Lord that I have always been petrified of the idea). It was the kind of trip where you are ready to go home on day two. But it was memorable. Julie and I laughed about tidbits from that trip for decades.
After college, Julie went to DC and stayed, which meant we eventually overlapped there too. Her very quiet, very reserved personality never changed. She was the best singles player at Stetson and got kicked out of DC’s most competitive league for being too good. She married a tennis player and had two sons about Sam’s age. They are excellent athletes as well, one of whom, William, swims. We texted about her tennis dominance and about her William’s swimming over Christmas. Julie said, “Your VOL is a whole other level!!!!” She deflected the spotlight, always. And once she warmed up (again it took years), she laughed at everything I said.
I haven’t seen Julie in more than six years. In fact, I do not remember the last time I saw her. I don’t think I made a big effort to see her before I moved away. We probably lived five miles apart, maybe less. I am not a very good friend. I get caught up in my own life. I assume people are caught up in theirs. I am increasingly introverted the older I get. I have always traveled a lot to see family and now I travel a lot to the beach. Simply put, I am unreliable. Will I be there for you? Is your last name Jackson? I don’t even know where the line is between balancing being available to others while serving my family.
You may be thinking, “Hey, I thought this was Worldview Wednesday.” But is there anything more important than your worldview on death? On friendship? Is there anything so terrifying as the idea of our kids getting hooked on drugs? Ernest Hemingway, as far as I know, was not a Christian, and did not evaluate the world through a biblical lens. Nevertheless, he recognized that “every true story ends in death.” Despite the odd pretending of recent days, we are all headed for death. There is no vaccination against it. Our death may be untimely like William’s or Julie’s, or we may live a long, long time. But the truth is, unless Jesus returns first, we will all die. Doesn’t that make you want to live whatever is left to the fullest? Psalm 90:12 says, “Teach us to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”
Digging Deeper:
How does it make you feel to acknowledge that your story will end in death? Do you feel confident about what will happen to you when you die? Do you avoid thinking about it? Or live in denial that it will happen?
The pandemic has stoked many fears. What have you been most afraid of these last two years? Do you fear not living? Do you have concerns about what the response to the pandemic has done to mental health? Are you aware of the overdose numbers? Does it bother you how this predictable trade-off is unacknowledged by most people?
C.S. Lewis said “If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.” Do you have longings this world cannot fully satisfy? What do you think that means?
What is the right balance between primarily giving your attention to your own family, but also loving others well? Who do you know that does this well?
David Magee, Dear William, (Dallas, 2021). The book is extremely well-written, but recounts brokenness in such a powerful way that it’s upsetting to read.
Sorry to hear about your friend. I think as we all age, we are more aware everyday of how precious life is. At the same time, I am always amazed to read the accounts of the first disciples and how fearless they were because they knew this was not their final destination. I think the main thing is to live with purpose, seeking the Father’s direction on what that is and how to go about it on a daily basis. In regards to teen suicide rates, Dean Sikes, one of the trustees at our church, travels to schools sharing with teens that they matter and that God has a purpose for their lives. He shares his personal story and encourages teens and young adults. https://deansikes.net/youmatter
I don't plan to read that book, even tho' I so respect that they put their story out there. I get so traumatized by that sort of content. As i age I do think more about the death that will come. I don't swell on it, bc I am confident in the goodness on the other side! But I will be sad to leave this good life!